We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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