He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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