I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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