If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
