Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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