i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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