so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
