R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
