If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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