areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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