Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
