When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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