Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is Oprah even human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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