just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He felt like a one man threesome
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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