My first STD was from a foam party
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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