glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
