Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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