gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
