just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
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Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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