New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
