yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
