Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
