In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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