i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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