we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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