I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
