So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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