I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize