Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
