Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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