There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
