Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
