k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
