you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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