he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
