i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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