dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize