3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
