Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
