so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
