Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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