Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
