I want to have your abortion
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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