Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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