so that wasnt chicken after all
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
