You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
