i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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