hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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