Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
