I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
