What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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