dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
