So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Acid is not a monday night drug
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize