Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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