hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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