Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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