If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
