what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
