You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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