Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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