so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
