we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
